My "maatjie" is here today so it's a good day. He had to come to the office (the one that lives and works in the next town) so I got to eat lunch with a friend and smoke with a friend and have somebody to talk too. Earlier we went for a smoke and I was standing in the corner of the garage with my head bent almost double looking at an interesting moth with nice colouring and he was just quietly standing looking at me, next I was looking at the sparrows that clean the grills on all the cars. They jump on the front and eat all the bugs off the vehicles. I was chatting about all these little creatures and my friend was just standing there looking at me like I am a nutter!! :-) Well.............I guess I am a tad strange at times hey!
I have two more boxes in my car today to off load at the house and hopefully I can get a few pictures today, was raining yesterday, then I can show everyone that has been bugging me, and those that haven't what it looks like.
Ok it's FRIDAY now, didn't go and offload boxes S (my friend) loaded a whole lot of boxes on his bakkie and took them home for me and we had two beers each and chatted. It really was a nice day and now I have plenty of boxes to pack this weekend. It was so awesome to have somebody to help me. So far T and I have done all the loading & off loading alone and yesterday I was "spoilt". Ah friends they the most amazing things! So I am going to go and offload after work today and then pack pack pack this weekend. Well on Saturday, Sunday is T's birthday he wants the new Need For Speed Undercover Nintendo DS game, I have ordered it from the CNA and they promised it will be there today, they better hope it is OR ELSE...............or else I am going to be in big trouble with a soon to be 12 year old :-). I bought a cake mix this morning to bake him a cake. Has to be chocolate it is T! His game is expensive so there is no party or anything just game and cake his choice, but to this homebody it's an awesome choice. Hope this is an great Friday and it goes F A S T!!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Moving and the living is eeeeeeeeeeeasy
I really do believe now that the "house" is meant to be. The wonderful kind owner told me yesterday that I can move stuff in from NOW..........I can take some every frikken day if I want to and so now I know it is meant to be (yip I ALWAYS doubt anything) and it isn't going to be too bad because by month end I can have moved ALL the small stuff and have a clean empty place to leave behind. It will mean only the LARGE pieces of furniture & appliances need go on the 27th. I have five boxes in my car today, books books & books he he. The house is at the gym so when I go after work I drop the boxes no extra trip no sweat no problem. How awesome. T is going with me today to "inspect" his new home (only seen it from the outside). It also means as they are packed they are moved so I don't need to be tripping over boxes and finding space for them in my present place. All this makes me feel kind of spoilt & special it is a lovely feeling!!
Lets mention the "smoking" issue............well I haven't exactly stuck to my quit this time around. BUT having said that I am working on a plan and so far it is going well. By December last year I was UP to about 25 a day, go figure from not a single PUFF for ten months I went NUTS!! Well for January I decided that 20 a day is MORE than too many fags and I stuck to 20 never buying more than one box at a time and if I ran out tough had to wait til the next day. I suffered severe "panic" attacks this time when I tried to stop cold turkey so I have been cutting ONE smoke a day, I am on 17 today and tomorrow 16 etc. It's going OK like this and even if I do get "stuck" on say 10 for a few days and then go down at least I am working towards a goal and I am not getting all "uptight" in the process. So I am kind of proud of myself now.
As for my other addiction I haven't had a whiskey in two weeks. He he and I'm proud of that too!!
Lets mention the "smoking" issue............well I haven't exactly stuck to my quit this time around. BUT having said that I am working on a plan and so far it is going well. By December last year I was UP to about 25 a day, go figure from not a single PUFF for ten months I went NUTS!! Well for January I decided that 20 a day is MORE than too many fags and I stuck to 20 never buying more than one box at a time and if I ran out tough had to wait til the next day. I suffered severe "panic" attacks this time when I tried to stop cold turkey so I have been cutting ONE smoke a day, I am on 17 today and tomorrow 16 etc. It's going OK like this and even if I do get "stuck" on say 10 for a few days and then go down at least I am working towards a goal and I am not getting all "uptight" in the process. So I am kind of proud of myself now.
As for my other addiction I haven't had a whiskey in two weeks. He he and I'm proud of that too!!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Im doing Grade Six
T was tired yesterday and had a headache, he wasn't a happy child when I got home from gym. He is very independent and has gone through school so far pretty much on his own steam without too much involvement from me. We fight like crazy when we do school work together and it just makes things worse. But now he is a "senior" in junior school and things are a bit tougher. We had a chat and I read the information brochure for Grade 6 that his very strict teacher sent and decided that this year I am going to HAVE to get more involved. I told him this morning that "we" will do Grade 6 together and from now on when I get home from gym he needs to have all his books out and his diary ready so I can check what he has done, needs to do etc. Maybe I sound like a "slack" mother not having done all this before. His Grade five teacher was pretty laid back, and he told us in the beginning of the year they wouldn't get homework only if they didn't complete the class work and projects. Before that we lived in Centurion and he went to aftercare and they did his homework etc with him so yip it is my FIRST time. Going to need to keep myself focused on this and discipline both T and myself to stick to it. Wish me luck!!
"puppy" sitting & Moving
This weekend T and I "puppy" sat for a friend. They are Scottish Terriers the big one stayed at home we just visited him and fed him and the "baby" stayed over. I haven't had a puppy in a while forgot how busy they keep you and how much fun they are. T and I had a really good time looking after them and we got really spoilt with sweets and chocolates for doing so!!
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We are MOVING, out of the complex and not to another complex or town house we are moving to a HOUSE. A big house this is so awesome and it is a miracle as it is going to cost the same but it is HUGE, and we have walls and alarms and a fire place and the animals & T are going to be over the moon. It has been coming a while now I have been looking as I am tired of complex life, I want my peace and privacy and our complex is very noisy. I was willing to settle for a town house with nobody "above" us but this is way better. It came out of the blue too. I saw it advertised and the lady who owns the house has given to me for a bargain.O and there are peach trees and a big new stove and a walled in courtyard for your washing etc, that is bigger than my current garden I might add. I am like a kid at Christmas even though the "thought" of moving makes me tired.
But the house is empty at the moment and I am going to be able to move some things in the last week in Feb and that helps because I need to move the fish and if I can do that FIRST then it will be so much easier.
We have quarterly stock take on the 27th OOPS that's primarily my "baby" even though officially my service manager is in charge of it. But hey I am a big girl now and I am sure that as tired as stock take makes me I will be so glad to move that I will be totally energised all over again come the next morning. Or that is the story I am telling my inner self!!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
We are going to gym and I have to QUIT
I am really looking forward to this, my friend and I are going to go to gym together, we going to go and see what it's all about after work today. It's a ladies only gym and you go five days a week. For a long time now I have been getting more and more irritated with my body and being unfit and not exercising. I used to walk and do weights every day until about six months ago then I just gave up and haven't been able to motivate myself anymore. But together we are going to do this!!!
Oops now I HAVE to quit smoking again need the money to go to gym, don't know why I ever started again in the first place as it is making me so sick. Anyway I don't have any ciggies now so lets hope and pray I can be strong like last time and stick to it. I have all the knowledge and education necessary to do so I researched quitting "cold turkey" for three weeks last time and then quit. I was so strong, and motivated then I threw it all away! Sometimes I could just slap myself. Anyway I have gum, wine gums, halls, banana's and orange juice today I am really going to try! OK let me not think about it 'cos then I am going to want to smoke. In for a rough three days I know that much, 72 hours before all the nicotine is out of my system. The first three days of cold turkey are the worst. I expect I shall be whining away plenty about quitting, so if anyone feels moved to help motivate this addict please do so!! Thanks!!!
Oops now I HAVE to quit smoking again need the money to go to gym, don't know why I ever started again in the first place as it is making me so sick. Anyway I don't have any ciggies now so lets hope and pray I can be strong like last time and stick to it. I have all the knowledge and education necessary to do so I researched quitting "cold turkey" for three weeks last time and then quit. I was so strong, and motivated then I threw it all away! Sometimes I could just slap myself. Anyway I have gum, wine gums, halls, banana's and orange juice today I am really going to try! OK let me not think about it 'cos then I am going to want to smoke. In for a rough three days I know that much, 72 hours before all the nicotine is out of my system. The first three days of cold turkey are the worst. I expect I shall be whining away plenty about quitting, so if anyone feels moved to help motivate this addict please do so!! Thanks!!!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Crazy Festive Season
It wasn't all smooth sailing this festive season and two really awesome friends of mine lost friends of theirs one in an accident and she was only 21 and one to a heart attack. Guys my heart is so sore for both of you and you in my thoughts a lot.
I got robbed at the ATM at 11:15 in the morning. It's not the first time I have been robbed, my car was broken into twice in Centurion and my home was robbed when I lived on a plot and T was very little. BUT those ones where when I wasn't around and though you feel violated etc it is somehow not as bad. Three men lots of shouting and screaming and T was in the car. It was scary and unsettling and I don't wish it on anyone. I am sad about the 2k I lost as a single mother never has enough money, but I am grateful to my guardian angels that I didn't get hurt physically and that T stayed in the car. He couldn't see from his angle what was happening thank goodness or who knows what he might have done. I couldn't sleep for a few days afterwards kept seeing the guy that did all the shouting every time I closed my eyes.
Thank you to my friends who were so supportive I really needed it, and couldn't have managed that all alone, one of you was overseas at the time your sms's meant the WORLD to me, you were so angry on my behalf and you understood perfectly that it hit me emotionally!! I even got a grocery gift voucher from a good friend in Johannesburg and that also meant a great deal!! Thanks guys I am truly blessed to have so many wonderful mates!!!
I got robbed at the ATM at 11:15 in the morning. It's not the first time I have been robbed, my car was broken into twice in Centurion and my home was robbed when I lived on a plot and T was very little. BUT those ones where when I wasn't around and though you feel violated etc it is somehow not as bad. Three men lots of shouting and screaming and T was in the car. It was scary and unsettling and I don't wish it on anyone. I am sad about the 2k I lost as a single mother never has enough money, but I am grateful to my guardian angels that I didn't get hurt physically and that T stayed in the car. He couldn't see from his angle what was happening thank goodness or who knows what he might have done. I couldn't sleep for a few days afterwards kept seeing the guy that did all the shouting every time I closed my eyes.
Thank you to my friends who were so supportive I really needed it, and couldn't have managed that all alone, one of you was overseas at the time your sms's meant the WORLD to me, you were so angry on my behalf and you understood perfectly that it hit me emotionally!! I even got a grocery gift voucher from a good friend in Johannesburg and that also meant a great deal!! Thanks guys I am truly blessed to have so many wonderful mates!!!
Back to the grindstone
I have been back at work a while but today was T's first day back at school. He is a different child this time since he came home. My parents had a long talk to him and it has really made a difference, my Mom asked him to be be kind and helpful to me etc. They didn't go into detail but I am kinda grateful as he has been known to give me an extremely hard time when he first comes home after staying with my family. He has been a pleasure and yip I know it's early days yet but I'm really enjoying him right now.
I'm feeling kind of sad and lonely since being back at work, I honestly do not get on with the people here they are difficult to say the least, most have worked here for ages and they don't like change etc etc long story. But I have been back stabbed shouted at undermined and all sorts of things since I came to this branch. I know in my head and my heart it isn't "me" I do tend to blame everything on myself but I have so many friends and great colleagues and have never had problems like here so it isn't me. BUT having said that I have also decided to no longer allow them to "get" to me. I have distanced myself from the negative talk the back stabbing the screaming, I WALK AWAY I don't react I leave them to do it to each other. NOW I'm a "miserable cow" that sits in her office and doesn't "mingle" he he you can't win. But I like it this way I laugh a lot I'm happy and busy and I keep my side clean as a whistle (not that it helps you can NOT join in here and still get into trouble somehow?/)..........How childish this all is, and some days I laugh only because it is so absurd.
BUT I do have a soft heart and I have one amazing friend here he works in the next town 100km away though and doesn't come to the office often, he was here today what a lekker surprise, we are not just colleagues we are mates and we chat about all sorts of stuff. I walked out with him when he left and to my disgust and surprise I wanted to CRY when he drove away. It was like a five year old when their playmate goes home. I suddenly felt so so alone and sad............dam whatever next? I feel "safe" and cared for when he is here, everyone knows we are mates, it's kinda like he "protects" me he he.......He also doesn't care for the way these people are, we started here more or less the same time. he understands...........
I miss my maatjie.....:-)
I'm feeling kind of sad and lonely since being back at work, I honestly do not get on with the people here they are difficult to say the least, most have worked here for ages and they don't like change etc etc long story. But I have been back stabbed shouted at undermined and all sorts of things since I came to this branch. I know in my head and my heart it isn't "me" I do tend to blame everything on myself but I have so many friends and great colleagues and have never had problems like here so it isn't me. BUT having said that I have also decided to no longer allow them to "get" to me. I have distanced myself from the negative talk the back stabbing the screaming, I WALK AWAY I don't react I leave them to do it to each other. NOW I'm a "miserable cow" that sits in her office and doesn't "mingle" he he you can't win. But I like it this way I laugh a lot I'm happy and busy and I keep my side clean as a whistle (not that it helps you can NOT join in here and still get into trouble somehow?/)..........How childish this all is, and some days I laugh only because it is so absurd.
BUT I do have a soft heart and I have one amazing friend here he works in the next town 100km away though and doesn't come to the office often, he was here today what a lekker surprise, we are not just colleagues we are mates and we chat about all sorts of stuff. I walked out with him when he left and to my disgust and surprise I wanted to CRY when he drove away. It was like a five year old when their playmate goes home. I suddenly felt so so alone and sad............dam whatever next? I feel "safe" and cared for when he is here, everyone knows we are mates, it's kinda like he "protects" me he he.......He also doesn't care for the way these people are, we started here more or less the same time. he understands...........
I miss my maatjie.....:-)
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