Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Day three of cutting down to quit...............

I'm smoking HALF of what I used to, 50% less. I am very proud of this and today am feeling better the first two days I had hellish withdrawal headaches and was very sluggish. Today no headaches and more energy and that is only in the cutting down stage, image after the total quit how good I will feel? It is starting to stink big time, I can smell smoke on other people and I hate the smell on my fingers afterwards. My quit buddy wasn't at the office today but there are others that encourage and help and provide snacks (lol) so I had a good day all in all. So now I am almost ready to set my quit date, I haven't thought about that yet which day I am actually going to stop totally. Right now it's baby steps don't want to rush it hey!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Cutting down....................

I have a 'quit" buddy this time and we work together so we are on a serious cutting down to quit drive right now. It involves stretching time between fags and helping each other and not smoking without each other so we both have to agree to smoke which is working because one or the other of us remains strong and says wait another half an hour etc. He is not in the office right now, out at a customer I NEED him to be here I need to smoke my head is aching :-(. We are allowed to smoke at 11 and again at 2, it is three hours between fags at this stage. I know that cutting down to quit works as it is the method I used last time and I do well knowing that sometime in the future I can have a smoke. It teaches you to go longer and longer without, and how to handle the cravings that come and go in between. Plus when you do smoke it tastes and smells so BAD that it starts putting you off. It's a long hard road, why I didn't stick to my last quit of 11 months I don't know because I have been down this road and I am hoping not to travel it again.

On the bright side I made two blankets last time to keep my hands busy and I am busy looking for a nice blanket pattern to crotchet for this quit too :-) Wish me luck I think this is the ONE!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Single Mothers we do exist!!!

Hello I know I haven't blogged much we have been uber busy at work and life has been hectic. I now have a usb modem at home so hopefully I can blog from there and I will blog more.

Yesterday I went to get the registration forms for High School, yip my little T-bone is going to High School next year and he is looking forward to it. Mom feels kind of sad. Anyway I come back to the office and start filling in the forms, get to a certain section and now I am stumped, and a little pissed off as well. It is the same with ANY forms we need to fill in regarding our children. Said question says "status" of family.....then the child lives with .......

Both parents
Divorced/lives with Father
Divorced/lives with mother
Alienated lives with father
Alienated lives with mother

Only mother passed away
Only father passed away
Both parents passed away

OK HELLO, what do I fill in? I am a single mother there are many of us, this is a fact. If you don't put single parents on forms it doesn't mean there are no single parents. I am not alienated from anyone. I made a conscious decision to raise this child on my own. His father made a decision not to get involved though he pays a smallish amount every month without fail he doesn't really have much to do with T and he only stared paying when T was about 6. T made his own decision to not have a relationship with his father at this time as he has let him down in the past, at 13 I believe he has a right to make that decision and I support it. So therefore I am a single parent I was never married to his father I am not married now. We are a family just T and myself.

Why don't schools and other institutions that require you to fill in forms recognise that single parents exist? That single parents should be on the forms? That a single parent family is totally different from a widowed, divorced, alienated or other type of family? Does this piss any other single parents off? I can't imagine that it is only me?

So now what do I do? Do I add a colum to their stupid form? Will this piss them off? I stopped filling in the form, I usually work around this thing but for some reason this particular one just got to me, there isn't even an "other" ........if there was "other" I could add it there. Is it still after all these years taboo to be a single mother? I know I have come up against some strange remarks in my 13 years of doing this and I know some people still judge single mothers in a bad way. Hey it's one of the hardest jobs on earth being a single parent, I'm proud of what I have been able to achieve in 13 years, I didn't ask for this job but I took it on and I think I am doing OK, so why the frikken hell shouldn't I be recognised by society? Why isn't there a single parent family status on the blooming form??