Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Second Annual Worldwide Moment!

Sunday 14 Nov 2010, please read about the worldwide movement here

I crocheted some angels...........

Just in time for mother collects angels she has plenty, but no crocheted ones yet:-), my friend saw them and asked for a red one, she is coming over to crochet circle on Saturday to choose which one, I am keeping the tiny yellow one I think as she was my first one and the smallest. I have since added a maroon one to this family for another friend, she is having a big "switch on" party for her Christmas lights and her theme colour is maroon, she doesn't know yet :-)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Teenagers are funny...............

"Mom you have to start buying the newspaper, I am growing up now I need something to read when I go to the toilet................"


Friday, October 22, 2010

The blanket is finished!!!

I have done half my quilt and finished this blanket. I got the edging idea from attic24 THANK YOU!!!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Have you ever been so angry that.............

I am so angry right now, so angry that I am calm, deadly calm. So angry that my chest feels like it is going to explode, so angry that I am having trouble breathing, I am so angry that I want to cry (I HATE this one why do I always want to cry when I get really angry?). I am so angry that thoughts of doing really dodgy things are coming into my head. I have had enough at work, I cannot go on like this anymore. I really am about to explode. My weeks leave was so amazing, I was so happy and one week back and I want to DIE..............the depression is deep and dark and I am so ANGRY!!!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Day three of cutting down to quit...............

I'm smoking HALF of what I used to, 50% less. I am very proud of this and today am feeling better the first two days I had hellish withdrawal headaches and was very sluggish. Today no headaches and more energy and that is only in the cutting down stage, image after the total quit how good I will feel? It is starting to stink big time, I can smell smoke on other people and I hate the smell on my fingers afterwards. My quit buddy wasn't at the office today but there are others that encourage and help and provide snacks (lol) so I had a good day all in all. So now I am almost ready to set my quit date, I haven't thought about that yet which day I am actually going to stop totally. Right now it's baby steps don't want to rush it hey!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Cutting down....................

I have a 'quit" buddy this time and we work together so we are on a serious cutting down to quit drive right now. It involves stretching time between fags and helping each other and not smoking without each other so we both have to agree to smoke which is working because one or the other of us remains strong and says wait another half an hour etc. He is not in the office right now, out at a customer I NEED him to be here I need to smoke my head is aching :-(. We are allowed to smoke at 11 and again at 2, it is three hours between fags at this stage. I know that cutting down to quit works as it is the method I used last time and I do well knowing that sometime in the future I can have a smoke. It teaches you to go longer and longer without, and how to handle the cravings that come and go in between. Plus when you do smoke it tastes and smells so BAD that it starts putting you off. It's a long hard road, why I didn't stick to my last quit of 11 months I don't know because I have been down this road and I am hoping not to travel it again.

On the bright side I made two blankets last time to keep my hands busy and I am busy looking for a nice blanket pattern to crotchet for this quit too :-) Wish me luck I think this is the ONE!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Single Mothers we do exist!!!

Hello I know I haven't blogged much we have been uber busy at work and life has been hectic. I now have a usb modem at home so hopefully I can blog from there and I will blog more.

Yesterday I went to get the registration forms for High School, yip my little T-bone is going to High School next year and he is looking forward to it. Mom feels kind of sad. Anyway I come back to the office and start filling in the forms, get to a certain section and now I am stumped, and a little pissed off as well. It is the same with ANY forms we need to fill in regarding our children. Said question says "status" of family.....then the child lives with .......

Both parents
Divorced/lives with Father
Divorced/lives with mother
Alienated lives with father
Alienated lives with mother

Only mother passed away
Only father passed away
Both parents passed away

OK HELLO, what do I fill in? I am a single mother there are many of us, this is a fact. If you don't put single parents on forms it doesn't mean there are no single parents. I am not alienated from anyone. I made a conscious decision to raise this child on my own. His father made a decision not to get involved though he pays a smallish amount every month without fail he doesn't really have much to do with T and he only stared paying when T was about 6. T made his own decision to not have a relationship with his father at this time as he has let him down in the past, at 13 I believe he has a right to make that decision and I support it. So therefore I am a single parent I was never married to his father I am not married now. We are a family just T and myself.

Why don't schools and other institutions that require you to fill in forms recognise that single parents exist? That single parents should be on the forms? That a single parent family is totally different from a widowed, divorced, alienated or other type of family? Does this piss any other single parents off? I can't imagine that it is only me?

So now what do I do? Do I add a colum to their stupid form? Will this piss them off? I stopped filling in the form, I usually work around this thing but for some reason this particular one just got to me, there isn't even an "other" ........if there was "other" I could add it there. Is it still after all these years taboo to be a single mother? I know I have come up against some strange remarks in my 13 years of doing this and I know some people still judge single mothers in a bad way. Hey it's one of the hardest jobs on earth being a single parent, I'm proud of what I have been able to achieve in 13 years, I didn't ask for this job but I took it on and I think I am doing OK, so why the frikken hell shouldn't I be recognised by society? Why isn't there a single parent family status on the blooming form??

Friday, August 6, 2010

These boys are winners........

They won a voucher to "snips" which is a bird park and pet shop etc all in one. I went and bought them lots of toys and hooves to chew. The picture was in our local weekly newspaper as pet pic of the week. Gentle giant Brutus watching tiny Spud (who is not so tiny anymore) eating his dinner, hoping he will leave some behind:-)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Hello again.......I'm still here

BUMZY………..hey personalized number plates are a choice and they cost a lot of money but some of them are so “stupid” why on earth would you want your number plate to be “BUMZY”? Just a question I was driving behind bumzy this morning wondering WTF?

I haven’t blogged in ages I don’t really know why I have had a lot on my mind and a lot has happened but I have just been keeping it inside (which is basically a bad idea). I get frustrated with blogging too since I cannot leave comments on blogs because my pc goes crazy it feels like I am out of the loop right now.

The animals are all fine Spud has grown he is taller than my dachshund and almost as long, he has huge feet and knees so I am thinking he will be a medium size rather than small dog as we all thought in the beginning. He is a thug he keeps all animals and humans on their toes and he rules the roost. I guess if you a little pup and dumped in with a big ol Brutus and two other ladies you have to be a thug.

Like MOMCAT I too have revived my love of knitting and crocheting and have done many projects since I started up again in April, I have made a crochet baby blanket, a knitted cabled hoody and mittens for the same baby. I knitted a dogs jersey for a friend who got a new jack Russell puppy. I knitted myself a sleeveless cardigan in lilac which everyone says is lovely, I have made my mom an aran cardigan and am busy knitting my niece one in dirty pink. I also made a new hot water bottle cover. So have been ultra busy. I have a few new patterns that I want to make for myself so I am all set for next winter. My parents have also asked me to knit some children’s jerseys for their church project for next winter. I am also knitting a blanket with squares that have owls cabled into them in the middle. I couldn’t believe it when I found the pattern. So each time I finish a back or front or sleeve I take a jersey break and make a square. The pic is of the baby blanket while I was still working it all together, it is a rather big one and the friend I made it for was thrilled!

I received two black rubbish bags full of wool from a friend’s mother. This friend has just passed away she had brain cancer she was 44. It is so sad she knitted all the time and her mother gave my mother and I the wool in June. She had plenty packed away in her cupboards. So I am often thinking of her when I use the wool from her stock pile and like to think it makes her smile……………

Monday, June 7, 2010

Our new baby.............

This is Spud (named after the Spud books) and he is seven weeks old, he has been with us for two weeks now. He was tied with a chain to the tar road and was sitting in the middle of the road where he nearly got run over. His rescuer was going to take him to the SPCA, but when I saw him I couldn't leave him. He is a cross dachshund according to the vet, but he is bigger than that so I hope he isn't too huge in the end. The day we got him he went for injections and deworming and he weighed 1.2kg's, he was skinny and he has mange, which is clearing up nicely and didn't spread around the family thank goodness. He has disrupted our lives totally he wakes in the night to go out, he eats like crazy he plays really rough and our hands are full of scratches, he is gorgeous. When he wants to sleep he cuddles up to you like a baby (and he is a baby after all) and sighs that puppy sigh and sleeps for ages. Today was his first day outside with the other dogs while we were at work and school, he was was happier staying with them and we were glad to see all was well when we got home. He shouted the loudest of all four when we returned at lunch time after school. So yeah I'm a sucker but man he is so cute................

Monday, April 12, 2010

Leave, epilepsy etc

It's been a while since I posted. A lot of things are happening right now but I have not really been up to writing about them. I was on leave for a week it was amazing to be away from the office and spend time with T. We got on so well and did so much together and around the house and garden. Of course the dogs thought it was wonderful having us at home all day every day :-). On Sunday 4 April our Brutus collapsed he just fell over and was shaking and wet himself. I was terrified I didn't know what was happening and I really thought he was dying. He got up after two minutes and he was fine. I rushed to phone the vet who explained that it is "normal" ( his word) epilepsy and to mark it on the calendar and see when it next occurs as they don't treat it if it's once a month for example. Well it happened three times on Sunday so we took him to the vet on Sunday afternoon. He is on medication and only had one seizure since then which the vet said might happen until the meds stabilize him. We have to take him off the meds after fourteen days and see when he has another seizure. Now that I know what it is and I have researched it and I understand it is ok, but that first time was so dreadful T and I shook like crazy we were so terrified and traumatized! Brutus is fine now he loves having his meds at 6 and 6 disguised in various ways and he is as alert protective and loving as usual!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Thursday, March 11, 2010

NOTE TO PETS............

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture..
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink,
(7) don't want to wear your clothes,
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ....

Monday, March 1, 2010


Guys please don't think I am rude, I can't comment on your blogs because my PC has become dodgy once again, I will post a comment then it opens about 40 - 60 web pages and goes nuts....don't know why it is doing this, but I don't like to even try commenting anymore. Martha and Bailey I really loved the Wilfred post!! Wish I had a Wilfred he is awesome!! xxx

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Child in mourning.............

My child is devastated two of his closest friends (twin brothers) in his class at school were burnt to death in the orphanage fire Tuesday morning. He is so brave so grown up but so little, what a hard life lesson to learn when you have just turned 13. He has been friends with them since Grade 4 . My life lesson is this when your child is hurting like this you can't "fix" it. If they fall down and get hurt you can do something to let it heal, this you cannot fix, even though with my whole being I wish I could make it better I can't. It is very sore to hurt for your child and feel his pain and not be able to take it away. He has learnt a lot this week about grief and anger etc. The school was very proactive and they got a pastor to come and council the class and that he said made him feel better. He talks about J & J at times and at other times he doesn't want too. All in all he is doing well and he asks questions etc and he and his class mates chat a lot about it on mxit and at school, they are supporting one another which is great. I'm sorry T that this happened and I'm sorry for the twins and their little sister and all the other burn victims. My heart goes out to the orphans who survived the fire and to the twins mother who lost three children all at once. RIP J & J & N..............

Monday, February 8, 2010

It's offical..................teenager in the house........

It’s official, I am no longer just a single mom, I am a single mom to a teenager. My “baby” is thirteen today, and it went so fast. Everyone says it does but it sounds like a cliché, genuinely it flew. I miss the little “t” that tiny boy that could fit in a bucket, that couldn’t reach the kitchen counters, that could sit on my lap and watch tv or read a book. The little fellow that said “comfstable” instead of comfortable and used his “cumberella” when it rained. He always never used the wrong words after I told him the right ones so sometimes I didn’t tell him for a while :-). If these thirteen years went so fast how fast are the next five going to be to 18 and then 21? It is somewhat scary to think about it…………Happy Birthday T..........

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Thursday, January 21, 2010


I was tagged by Angel so let me have a go: I’m not going to tag anyone….use it if you wish.

Do you get regular massages? No, but I GIVE them and I have been told I am in the wrong profession :-)
Do you have an answering machine? I don’t have a land line
What cuss word do you use the most? “crap” is a favorite, I swear a bit too much when I am driving…..then it is a lot of “f” words…………and at work……
Are you underweight or overweight? Over…
Can you see your veins? Yeah

Soap? Sunlight baby soap…..
Fruit? Banana’s
Kind of red meat? T bone steak and lamb loin chops (I love the fat on them)
Fish? Haddock
Candy bar? I favour dark chocolate

Have You Ever…
Eaten a whole bag of potato chips? Nah only small ones
Eaten lobster? Yes
Climbed a mountain? Yes in the Drakensberg
Been skydiving? No
Been water skiing? Yes, what a thrill

Do You…
Wish you could change something about your life? Yes I do, my current favorite change would be to go back to the city and get my career back on track as I am at a dead end now……I’m working on it.
Like your nose? It’s ok I don’t dislike it
Like salt and vinegar chips? Yeah
Eat salsa? Yes not often
Own a boat? Nope might be nice though

What Is…
A small thing that people let slide but that actually has dire consequences? Manners…..actually they are kind of a big thing to me, I hate it when people are rude or they interrupt etc.
Your most macho trait? I have many, being a single mom with a son and my own place I have to have them. I do my own DIY mostly, I’m pretty strong, I can drink beer like a man :-)
The longest relationship you’ve ever had? 5 years with a person who until two months ago was STILL getting to me, but I woke up one day and decided that he was mostly likely the reason I had to move so far away and I am OVER him so I deleted everything off MXIT email cell ………… was a positive step towards the “new” me………..
Your most embarrassing thoughts? Ha ha the most private ones no doubt………….
Your most shameful moment? ONE was being stopped by a rather cute traffic cop one night, I was in the back of the car and XXXXXX was driving, he went off for something and I said “hey xxxxx he’s cute lets take him home and f… him”……………….he cleared his throat was standing just outside my drunken vision…………..but we didn’t get a ticket or anything. Or haven’t I used this in another tag? O well it was shameful!

Bath/Shower? Shower
Markers/ Crayons? Markers
Pens/ Pencils? Both
Jelly/ Cream Cheese? Both
Bagel/ Toast? Toast

My greatest weakness is… I guess my addiction to smoking….
I wish I was… Back in the city……………
Three things I wouldn’t do for a million dollars are… Murder (though it may be tempting depending on WHO was to be murdered…), ummmm bungi jump cos I would have a heart attack and die before I got the million dollars…….like Angel I wouldn’t sell my kid (though at times that might be tempting too)
The oddest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth is… I chew on all sorts of things all the time, pens, paper clips, the scoobie on my keyring… always got something strange in my mouth…..actually this is a dodgy trait

Credit card you had? Mastercard
Loan you got was for? From the bank to buy my first car
Paycheck was for how much? Not much less than 1000 bucks
Time you had stitches? When I tore the ligaments in my left ankle clean off………….
Time you went to the hospital for something? Wisdom teeth

List everything you ate in the last 24 hours? Toast and peanut butter, two banana’s, two chicken breast fillets, a boiled egg, some crackers and cheese, a rusk, salad
Last thing you used a credit card for? Don’t know I gave it up, o maybe Brutus’ kennel
What was your job previous to the one you have now? I was a call centre Supervisor
Last thing you celebrated? My son coming home after three weeks away…..
Last time you were at a sports bar? Long time ago, the Australian cricket team was over here some of them were in there too was a lekker party……………

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Work sucks!!

We all get turns here. It is a horrible place to work for the atmosphere sucks big time and there is always drama, bad vibes and bullshit! Today it is one of my friends; he is the colleague that organized Brutus for me. He was so angry at the way he was treated and threatened that he was pail and shaking. I haven’t seen somebody this angry in a very long time. I feel so bad for him and I know exactly how he feels.

This kind of thing happens all the time here, certain staff members get away with murder and others are picked on. Last week the technical supervisor was taken to task and the problem is that the people doing it all are the ones in positions of “power” but they don’t have all the facts and they just go off at the deep end and upset everyone for nothing.

Bad planning bad leadership and unfair treatment what a load of fucking bullshit this is! I try not to swear on my blog (don’t know why really) but FUCK I am so angry and really tired of it all. I find it childish and unnecessary and I think that this branch is going to start doing really badly soon if this carries on. I don’t know anyone that is happy here (o maybe a few but they are not the majority).

As I said I have “new” things for myself this year, so far I have tried very hard to distance myself from all the drama but they sometimes make it personal. This time I have stood up for my colleague and I guess I am going to “get it” for that too.

Just another shit day in Africa hey!!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Loads of time to think....................

T was away for three and a half weeks, that is a long time! I had plenty of time to think, about my life about my career (that isn't one anymore) and a lot of other things. I didn't go and join my family this Christmas, I stayed and looked after my dogs and house and did all sorts of things that you don't get a chance to do during the working year. It was lonely at times, but I needed this time and I have come out the other side wiser and happier and with some good future plans. I had a lot of rotten things happen to me in the last two years, and I guess in a way I was attracting some of this by sinking into despair and loosing "myself" along the way. I don't necessarily believe that a new year means a new start, but I know I feel new. Though having said that it started before 31.12.2009.

T has come back a little "new" too, I think it was hard for him to have Christmas without me he said it wasn't as exciting shame, he has been way more helpful and also seems to have matured a lot. He didn't want to go back to school but has enjoyed it so far and has been very positive!

No resolutions just goals and plans and my motto for 2010: "Every day in ever way things gets better and better"..................I affirm and visualize the things I want and I say this over and over. I am back on track and I am using my mind and attracting good things instead of bad.