Friday, September 3, 2010

Single Mothers we do exist!!!

Hello I know I haven't blogged much we have been uber busy at work and life has been hectic. I now have a usb modem at home so hopefully I can blog from there and I will blog more.

Yesterday I went to get the registration forms for High School, yip my little T-bone is going to High School next year and he is looking forward to it. Mom feels kind of sad. Anyway I come back to the office and start filling in the forms, get to a certain section and now I am stumped, and a little pissed off as well. It is the same with ANY forms we need to fill in regarding our children. Said question says "status" of family.....then the child lives with .......

Both parents
Stepfather/mother
Father/Stepmother
Widower
Widow
Guardians
Divorced/lives with Father
Divorced/lives with mother
Alienated lives with father
Alienated lives with mother

Only mother passed away
Only father passed away
Both parents passed away

OK HELLO, what do I fill in? I am a single mother there are many of us, this is a fact. If you don't put single parents on forms it doesn't mean there are no single parents. I am not alienated from anyone. I made a conscious decision to raise this child on my own. His father made a decision not to get involved though he pays a smallish amount every month without fail he doesn't really have much to do with T and he only stared paying when T was about 6. T made his own decision to not have a relationship with his father at this time as he has let him down in the past, at 13 I believe he has a right to make that decision and I support it. So therefore I am a single parent I was never married to his father I am not married now. We are a family just T and myself.

Why don't schools and other institutions that require you to fill in forms recognise that single parents exist? That single parents should be on the forms? That a single parent family is totally different from a widowed, divorced, alienated or other type of family? Does this piss any other single parents off? I can't imagine that it is only me?

So now what do I do? Do I add a colum to their stupid form? Will this piss them off? I stopped filling in the form, I usually work around this thing but for some reason this particular one just got to me, there isn't even an "other" ........if there was "other" I could add it there. Is it still after all these years taboo to be a single mother? I know I have come up against some strange remarks in my 13 years of doing this and I know some people still judge single mothers in a bad way. Hey it's one of the hardest jobs on earth being a single parent, I'm proud of what I have been able to achieve in 13 years, I didn't ask for this job but I took it on and I think I am doing OK, so why the frikken hell shouldn't I be recognised by society? Why isn't there a single parent family status on the blooming form??

2 comments:

Martha and Bailey said...

Yes, you will just have to write in your status since they haven't got one for you!
We do have single parent status on our forms in the UK.
love
Martha and Bailey xx
ps good to see you back blogging

Angel said...

Oh I so hear you my friend! Its infuriating and it never changes! How many times I had to explain to my childs' teachers that his fargin family tree homework was not in fact incomplete- that he only has one side of his family! That there is no father coming to parents' evening. That N/A on the father's details means "not applicable" not "I forgot"!!

That said- I can't believe T is going to highschool already!!