Thursday, October 22, 2009

I'm NARFI.........(no ambition f*ck all interest)

I have got to a stage at work where I'm kind of on "strike" I am merely doing what is in my job description and no more. It isn't like me to be this way and having always been in management up until now I don't like it in other people either. But I go more than the extra mile and I get treated the worst, I know it is jealousy and envy and a lot of things, it usually doesn't bother me because I like to be busy and to use the brains I have been blessed with. But I am frankly "gatvol" (fed up) and since yesterday morning I have taken life very easy at work. I have even said "I don't know" when asked for help, one person commented that he has NEVER heard me say that before. Actually I did know but they getting paid to know and solve and do it so why should I do it? It annoys me that I know more than the managers and have to keep helping them (and they don't make this public knowledge). Behind closed doors they thank me and have even rewarded me with performance bonuses etc. But the rest of the staff don't get to know about it, I am doing the job I want the recognition FFS!! In public they treat me like the other staff members that do just enough to get by, that isn't fair. In actual fact I am often treated the worst and I think it is there way of "putting me in my place" for knowing more and because I am a threat to them? It is an odd contrast to be phoned by a Branch Manager or a Head Office Manager and be treated with respect and as an equal and then sit here all day and be treated like a frikken skivvy. I have even been made the SAP SME (subject matter expert) for my region and they never told a soul or acknowledged this at all.

It has lead to hours of unhappiness and even tears of frustration, I have no respect for these people anymore. I am beyond frustrated and upset. I am loosing my mind and I am drinking too much and eating too much and driving myslef crazy. I know I know get another job, in this small town and economic climate it is nearly impossible to do so. I need to earn what I am earning now, I did go for one interview for a decent position and salary at the opposition, the bastards follwed me and f*cked it up for me. Somebody that used to work here works there now and they called up an told my boss that I was going? WTF?

This is kind of scary for me because it goes against my nature and my ambition for the future. I would gladly go back to Gauteng given half a chance but T doesn't want to go and next year is his last year in Junior School, so I am stuck here.

So I have had a lazy day, I have been collecting money as the debtor's lady is on maternity leave on top of my job I have brought the debtors days down by TEN and collected a lot of old money, but what happens I get treated like crap. So today I am not doing a dam thing. They even gave me an assistant for the last two weeks (after I have been doing three people's jobs for 3 months already) and he isn't even here he went to lunch nearly two hours ago and we only get half an hour...............I rest my case...................

O and in case you might think I am jeapodising my chances I have been promised a promotion THREE times over the last two years and it has never happened, I doubt it!!


Martha Basset said...

Hi Lulu, we have missed you in blogland!
Sorry your difficult time at work continues.
It will pass - nothing lasts forever!
My Gran's favourite saying was 'smile in the face of adversity'.
Easier said than done I know from my own experience. Here's hoping something gives soon........
Have a good weekend.

angel said...

There is nothing your current employers can do about you looking for work exccept make in uncomfortable. They are not allowed to give you a bad reference if asked for one, so screw whoever thought they were going to score by "tattle-tailing" and keep going for interviews.

lulu said...

Hi guys, I didnt blog for a long time because I have been so dam busy at work and havent had the time. With my "new" narfi attitude I might get more time :-) Thank you for the support it means so much especially as I have about two true friends here even after two years, so I need the support badly!!