Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Sleepless nights.............

I have never slept well since I was 11, I have a terribly active mind and I just cannot fall asleep, the result is I spend most of my life tired, o well I am pretty much used to it at this stage but dammit I want to sleep and haven't slept since Saturday night. I have slept on and off but two hour stretches at a time don't really work and last night I had "nightmares" and guess what about? This dam woman here! I'm so proud and I stand up and fight for once and now I have bad dreams? Dreams about her finding out really personal stuff about me and telling people and bribing me etc. Holy cow! I need help dudes!! he he he. O well it will pass I am sure.

BTW I do have medication to help me fall asleep but that often plays on my mind too and then I imagine that I never wake up or that something happens I don't hear it. Which is a load of BS cos the meds simply help me doze off I wake up if there is a noise or T needs me or anything like that and it doesn't make me drowsy, but I am able to fall asleep again if need be and I sleep well. Plus I only take HALF the dosage but what to do about a slightly sick mind hey?

Tomorrow I have a two hour drive to take T half way to my parents (well 40km over half way) and then back again. Boy do I need to sleep tonight! Wish me luck.

I am looking forward to the break, this is my bonus for living far from my family I don't get a break during term time and I don't have back up at hand BUT I get all the school holidays off and while that might sound harsh, a single mom can always do with a break! This morning was a bad start for me cos T didn't go to school but got up extra early and disturbed that holy morning peace that is so important, between him and the dogs running around and playing and making a noise it has made me more tired :-).

7 comments:

momcat said...

Lulu, Hope you managed to get a good nights sleep eventually. Sorry about the problem. I do dream but my dreams dont affect my ability sleep and I never remember my dreams. My dad fights people in his sleep and the other night fell out his bed. Jokingly I'm threatening to put up a side bar on his bed again!

lulu said...

he he shame! Thanks man I hope so too enjoy your BRAAI day tomorrow!

angel said...

You so deserve some time off. Enjoy it.

Spear The Almighty said...

Yes. Single moms do deserve rest. It must be hard.

Martha Basset said...

Well done you for sticking up for yourself in your last post. Sorry you are now having nightmares!
I think I said before you are a very sensitive person and that makes you struggle to find the right words and be nice. Some people have their problems and cope by bitching about everyone else.
It is a shame that people are like that but they cannot be happy inside.
There is no point in telling you not to waste your time thinking about it cos I don't know you but I know you will anyway!!!
Go home and have your holiday....do all the fun things that you are usually too busy for.
You deserve it.
xxx

Brigitte said...

I will send the sand man over to your place tonight with a whole extra BIG helping for you. Before you know it you'll be snorring!!

Sending zzzzzzzzzzzz....

lulu said...

Thank you all so much for the positive feedback it is highly appreciated and Brigette the sand man did come around and I slept so well the last two nights thanks xxxxx