This is how I feel today............

The past two weeks have been really rough T and I have both had the flu. My Uncle passed away, my financial situation is kind of scarey and work has been hell on wheels. On the bright side I have a friend visiting for a week that I haven't seen in two years and that has been amazing. She is staying until Sunday, it has been one of the best visits I have had ever! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

This is what I'd like to say to some people :-)

Canine humour.............

My 69 (thanks Angel) without a 37...............

1. Are your parents married or divorced? Married 45 years
2. Are you a vegetarian? No ways! I love meat!
3. Do you believe in Heaven? I do but I can’t believe animals don’t go so my heaven has animals or I don’t really want to be there………..
4. Have you ever come close to dying? Nope
5. What jewelry do you wear? Don’t wear any as a rule
6. Favorite time of day? Evening when I get to go home to my family 9T and the fur babies)
7. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yip
8. Do you wear makeup? I do but not keen on it I don’t on weekends mostly
9. Ever have plastic surgery? Nope
10. Do you color your hair? Nope (have once or twice though) it’s very short
11. What do you wear to bed? T shirt and pj shorts usually I don’t feel the cold at night and my little dogs sleep with me so they like built in heaters
12. Have you ever done anything illegal? Yeah I have………………
13. Can you roll your tongue? O yeah and touch my nose with it, got a Loong tongue
14. Do you tweeze your eyebrows? Just tidy them up now and then
15. What kind of sneakers? Nikes
16. Do you still own vinyl? Nope
17. What is your hair color? Blond but it’s got darker over the years got natuaral blond highlights though
18. Future child’s name? There are no more children in my future
19. Do you snore? When my sinus is bad yip
20. If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be? The Black Forrest in germany
21. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No live ones J
22. If I won the lottery… Buy a plot and educate my son
23. Gold or silver? Silver
24. Hamburger or hot dog? Burger
25. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Pasta with a meat sauce
26. City, beach or country? Country
27. What was the last thing you touched? Keyboard he he mouse before that
28. Where did you eat last? In my office
29. When’s the last time you cried? On Wednesday when my brother phoned me to tell me our Uncle passed away
30. Do you read blogs? Yes
31. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? Have before
32. Ever been involved with the police? Yip
33. Whats your favorite shampoo, conditioner and soap? Um don’t think I have a specific favorite of any of them, got v short hair doesn’t need much attention
34. Do you talk in your sleep? I have been told I do
35. Ocean or pool? BOTH!! Love swimming!
36. What’s your favorite song at the moment? Don’t have a current favorite actually
37. Hey!!! Where’s the question for#37…
38. What is your favorite colour/s? red, green (but not to wear)
39. Ever met anyone famous? Used to work and party with some of the Sharks players years ago, met Jonty Rhodes once…………..
40. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life? I believe success is relative and in some areas I have been sucessful, I am a work in progress though
41. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Depends on my mood
42. Ricki Lake or Oprah? Oprah
43. Basketball or Football? American kinda question this? Neither
44. How long do your showers last? Til Im clean? He he
45. Automatic, or do you drive a stick? Manual but have driven both
46. Cake or ice cream? Ice cream please.
47. Are you self-conscious? Yeah but not as bad as I was when I was much younger
48. Have you ever drank so much you threw up? O yeah
49. Have you ever given money to a tramp? Yes
50. Have you been in love? Yip
51. Where do you wish you were? At home
52. Are you wearing socks? Yes it’s freezing today
53. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Nope
54. Can you tango? Nope
55. Last gift you received? Wednesday a lovely yellow potted begonia frm my dear fried A when she heard my uncle passed away
56. Last sport you played? Hockey
57. Things you spend a lot of money on? Food and books
58. Where do you live? Kwazulu Natal
59. Where were you born? Gauteng!
60. Last wedding attended? Friends in Pretoria
61. Favorite alcoholic drink? Whisky and beer
62. What’d you do last weekend? Had guests my bro and family brought my son home
63. Most hated food/s? beetroot………….
64. What’s your least favourite chore? Moping floors and weeding
65. Can you sing? No ways!
66. Last person you instant messaged? My friend who is on a greyhound bus on her way here and I havent seen her for TWO years!
67. Last place you went on holiday? Hillcrest
68. Favorite regular drink? Coke light
69. Current crush? Mmmmmmmm pass…………………..

Thomas is home...........

It went well, he is very happy to be home. I kept dog and cat separated, they say to do this for at least 5 days only let them get the scent but not actually see each other.

I am really happy he is home he slept on my bed and purred all night! I really missed that........

Now come on big boys please at least learn to tolerate each other eventually....................

Cat vs Dog.....................

Thomas heathcliffe is fine, he is still residing at our old building and being taken care of by my old neighbour. but she wants to move and so now he HAS to stay at home and he and Brutus have to get along. Easy? I don't think so, I am going to fetch him AGAIN today and take him home for the hundredth time and I don't actually know WTF to do. The dog and the cat do not like each other and even though this is not the reason Thomas roams (he did it long before the dog came) I have to make it work somehow. I have tried introducing them through a cage, I have had to lock one up and let one out at a time I feel guilty about the one that is locked away. I want my cat & my dog both to be able to lie in the lounge at night with us and though that might be a pipe dream that is what I want. I couldn't get a big dog puppy and wait for it to grow up because we needed the security straight away. I sometimes think I shouldn't have got Brutus because of the cat, but if we didn't we would have still been scared and uncomfortable in our own home. Thomas is hardly at home so in a way it is his own fault if he is the one locked up. He is a maniac at night and keeps us all awake wanting to escape etc. I can't make a seven year old cat stay indoors after all these years, he is used to roaming. I wish T was here to help me when I get home today I wish the animals would get along, I wish I could "fix" this....................any suggestions?

A very long & honest post............

Honesty time: I am tired of pretending to myself that this is OK, that I am happy here and that I made the right choice. I have never admitted this to anyone least of all myself, but I am ready to do so now so that maybe I can make changes and make our lives better.

It isn’t all-bad I know that but the bad out weighs the good and it isn’t a good way to live. As a single parent I wanted to be closer to my family and I am way closer T can go there even for short holidays and it doesn’t cost us a fortune and we can be there in three hours, not six and my parents can come and visit. We have a house a nice big house, which we wouldn’t have been able to afford in the city. We have a new dog, he is lovely and he has made a difference to T and is his constant companion and play mate. T likes his school and he is doing all right.

BUT the bad is way more and doesn’t end: Thomas my cat doesn’t live at home anymore, he refuses to stay there, he keeps running away, I have tried everything and I can’t force him anymore. It makes me feel sad and guilty, I am at a point where I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Since I came here I started smoking & drinking again and that has made my finances go for a huge dive and the more I worry about my finances the more I smoke, makes no sense but there you have it.

My job sucks BIG TIME. I was sent a job spec for this position (the then branch manager used to work with me in the city) he offered me a position and he sent me the job spec. When I got here it wasn’t what it had seemed on paper. I was in management before I had a good position & I dressed nicely every day and worked really hard in the office. I got here was stuck in the stores, yes I am the logistics controller, I perform lots of the management type functions that I did before due to my experience and knowledge. I have made a major difference and the managers keep telling me this, I know I do I don’t need them to tell me, but they don’t tell anyone else. They keep this to themselves and I am treated like a ‘store man” here. On top of doing all these functions I have to pack shelves pick stock and work like a skivvy and get treated like one. It is so degrading and beneath me that it makes me cry to even talk about it, I have a dodgy back some days my back gets so sore I can hardly move. I hate it so much it is eating me up inside, I have been for interviews then these people find out (how I don’t know must be the small town thing) and block it, because they say they would be f*cked without me. But yet they allow the rest of the women here to treat me like sh*t and make my life hell. I have been treated with suspicion and talked about and stabbed in the back to the point that Head Office was even told that I am being treated badly (not by me J ). They are a lazy bunch and the minute the manager’s backs are turned they sit together in reception and gossip. I don’t join in this, it isn’t me I still think like a manager and I work and do what has to be done. It is so bad that I don’t talk to anyone here except about work, every change I have made has been treated with suspicion. I am a single mother too I run my own house I have my own car and I am strong, that makes me an enemy I think a threat. They don’t know a thing about my life because I don’t sit and gossip with them. The managers are good to me and reward my efforts and chat to me etc But they also keep promising to make changes and they don’t do it.

I was accused to making some really bad statements about two weeks ago, given the fact that I don’t talk to anyone here it is nothing but a joke, BUT this person accused me of saying bad things about the managers, it could have ended very badly if I wasn’t me and I didn’t have a great working relationship with the managers. It ended up in a meeting with witnesses etc, but they never brought the person forward who is meant to have made the remarks? WTF? Jealousy? Envy? Why?

This and the handbag being stolen and all the bad luck that I have had is getting to me now. I know I am strong and I am not in the wrong here, nobody is perfect but all the men here are good to me treat me with respect and we work well together it is just the women. I can’t do this anymore I can’t pretend anymore I don’t want to be here I don’t want to work here and I don’t actually know what to do about it right now. I just know I have to make changes and fast. I have stopped drinking too much; it wasn’t helping except for some stress relief after work. I am still smoking though; I can’t wear nice clothes because they will get messed up. I can’t be myself because these people are so strange. I used to laugh and joke all day long and be a happy person. Now I am quiet and Conservative and don’t trust anyone, total change and total opposite. I can’t believe this is happening or has happened. It is two years on, some say give it time that is enough time. I have tried everything to fit in here and because I am a threat it isn’t ever going to happen. The women here ruled the roost before I came along they pulled the wool over the manager’s eyes and did whatever they wanted to do. Now they have been shown up and I guess that’s why they are doing this to me?

They gossip if I talk to the manager’s they gossip if I stay for a drink with the guys after work, they gossip that I sit and do nothing all day. They say the most dreadful things about me that you can ever imagine, and being a dumb ass I have tried for two years to overlook all this and to get along with the b*tches. The manager’s at one point wanted to call them all in and tell them to get off my case. But I told them not to fearing that it would make it worse. I am not a coward and have nothing to hide, but these people are dangerous, I know because of the things they say true or not they don’t care. I have had enough now……………………………..

Two years ago...............still makes me want to cry......

Like our friends Martha & Bailey the basset hounds we were also rescue dogs, Abigail (Jack Russell terrier) in April 2006 abandoned & with a rib that protrudes that the vet said was most likely from being kicked. Shadow (Dachshund) in August 2006 from the SPCA abandoned with puppies by her owners when they moved homes. This is what we looked like on our respective first days home: so thin and sad. How truly blessed we are two years on we are happy healthy little girls that get so much love and attention and give so much in return!

Girls it breaks my heart when people are cruel to animals and I am so grateful that the two of you came into our lives and joined our family! Abby chewed through a fence into our garden and into our hearts. Shadow was in her cage at the SPCA and when T sat down on the floor she put her paws on his shoulders and licked his face..........he said "this is the one mom"................you both chose us and we are honoured! How could anyone be so cruel to two such beautiful loving dogs?

Thank you for choosing us to be your family and for all the joy that you give us!!

Lunch time rush hour in down town "smallsville" .....

This really made me laugh. I'm at the robot waiting to turn right and there is a tractor in front of me? With the guy waving to a mate he he. This in the middle of town? A tractor? he he only in a small town hey?

my power animal.................

I got this from Angel's blog, interesting didn't even know there was such a creature!

Home alone.................

T has gone on holiday. I took him half way (180km) on Synday and my parents met me and took him back to their place. There is definatley a LULL in my life right now. Sunday I was so tired, havent driven long distance for a while so after 360km I was bushed and chilled the rest of the day.

We are having a really cold spell right now the birdbath is frozen every morning and I have to break ice to let the birds drink, the wild birds are really hungry right now and eating me out of house and home. I buy them seed and I give them left over bread etc. They shout loudly if I am too late with all this. The dogs are missing T they get a bit naughty in the afternoons, not used to being alone all day as he is there after school usually, I have been visiting them on my lunch break and they are always so glad to see me. Wish everyone was as nice as dogs are hey? Though I doubt the dug up Petunias think the dogs are that wonderful.........


Monday night I went out with my friend to her mothers home, it was her mothers birthday and we had snacks and drinks and I got home at 10.30, was very nice. We sat around the table chatting there we six of us, nice to have just adult conversation and so on for a change. I don't get much of that being a single mom.

Work is so quiet today was our financial year end last month so up to yesterday we were full speed ahead, today everyone is taking it easy. Wish we could be at home taking it easy rather.