We are going to gym and I have to QUIT

I am really looking forward to this, my friend and I are going to go to gym together, we going to go and see what it's all about after work today. It's a ladies only gym and you go five days a week. For a long time now I have been getting more and more irritated with my body and being unfit and not exercising. I used to walk and do weights every day until about six months ago then I just gave up and haven't been able to motivate myself anymore. But together we are going to do this!!!

Oops now I HAVE to quit smoking again need the money to go to gym, don't know why I ever started again in the first place as it is making me so sick. Anyway I don't have any ciggies now so lets hope and pray I can be strong like last time and stick to it. I have all the knowledge and education necessary to do so I researched quitting "cold turkey" for three weeks last time and then quit. I was so strong, and motivated then I threw it all away! Sometimes I could just slap myself. Anyway I have gum, wine gums, halls, banana's and orange juice today I am really going to try! OK let me not think about it 'cos then I am going to want to smoke. In for a rough three days I know that much, 72 hours before all the nicotine is out of my system. The first three days of cold turkey are the worst. I expect I shall be whining away plenty about quitting, so if anyone feels moved to help motivate this addict please do so!! Thanks!!!

Crazy Festive Season

It wasn't all smooth sailing this festive season and two really awesome friends of mine lost friends of theirs one in an accident and she was only 21 and one to a heart attack. Guys my heart is so sore for both of you and you in my thoughts a lot.

I got robbed at the ATM at 11:15 in the morning. It's not the first time I have been robbed, my car was broken into twice in Centurion and my home was robbed when I lived on a plot and T was very little. BUT those ones where when I wasn't around and though you feel violated etc it is somehow not as bad. Three men lots of shouting and screaming and T was in the car. It was scary and unsettling and I don't wish it on anyone. I am sad about the 2k I lost as a single mother never has enough money, but I am grateful to my guardian angels that I didn't get hurt physically and that T stayed in the car. He couldn't see from his angle what was happening thank goodness or who knows what he might have done. I couldn't sleep for a few days afterwards kept seeing the guy that did all the shouting every time I closed my eyes.

Thank you to my friends who were so supportive I really needed it, and couldn't have managed that all alone, one of you was overseas at the time your sms's meant the WORLD to me, you were so angry on my behalf and you understood perfectly that it hit me emotionally!! I even got a grocery gift voucher from a good friend in Johannesburg and that also meant a great deal!! Thanks guys I am truly blessed to have so many wonderful mates!!!

Back to the grindstone

I have been back at work a while but today was T's first day back at school. He is a different child this time since he came home. My parents had a long talk to him and it has really made a difference, my Mom asked him to be be kind and helpful to me etc. They didn't go into detail but I am kinda grateful as he has been known to give me an extremely hard time when he first comes home after staying with my family. He has been a pleasure and yip I know it's early days yet but I'm really enjoying him right now.

I'm feeling kind of sad and lonely since being back at work, I honestly do not get on with the people here they are difficult to say the least, most have worked here for ages and they don't like change etc etc long story. But I have been back stabbed shouted at undermined and all sorts of things since I came to this branch. I know in my head and my heart it isn't "me" I do tend to blame everything on myself but I have so many friends and great colleagues and have never had problems like here so it isn't me. BUT having said that I have also decided to no longer allow them to "get" to me. I have distanced myself from the negative talk the back stabbing the screaming, I WALK AWAY I don't react I leave them to do it to each other. NOW I'm a "miserable cow" that sits in her office and doesn't "mingle" he he you can't win. But I like it this way I laugh a lot I'm happy and busy and I keep my side clean as a whistle (not that it helps you can NOT join in here and still get into trouble somehow?/)..........How childish this all is, and some days I laugh only because it is so absurd.

BUT I do have a soft heart and I have one amazing friend here he works in the next town 100km away though and doesn't come to the office often, he was here today what a lekker surprise, we are not just colleagues we are mates and we chat about all sorts of stuff. I walked out with him when he left and to my disgust and surprise I wanted to CRY when he drove away. It was like a five year old when their playmate goes home. I suddenly felt so so alone and sad............dam whatever next? I feel "safe" and cared for when he is here, everyone knows we are mates, it's kinda like he "protects" me he he.......He also doesn't care for the way these people are, we started here more or less the same time. he understands...........

I miss my maatjie.....:-)

This is why I dont like PEOPLE (except a few) and prefer animals!!!

Yesterday's post was about my darling monster cat Thomas Heathcliffe, well I was already feeling bad about leaving him alone for the holidays. I must of had a sixth sense. The girl that (offered herself I might add I never asked her) was meant to look after him was meant to be at my place at 5pm to fetch keys remotes and get instructions. She NEVER turned up she didn't even send a message. Well that was enough for me there is no way in hell I'm going to trust her now and leave Mister Thomas in her care. This morning I went to the caretaker, she has looked after him before and he visits her place during the day, she plays with him and he likes her. LUCKY day they aren't going away so she said she will look after him with pleasure and for the whole two weeks. Well there you have it life has a way of turning out for the best he will be much happier and she lives in the building and he knows her well and he can visit her if he is lonely!!. I feel way better now about leaving him and I can go and enjoy!

BUT just because it turned out better than expected doesn't mean I can excuse the behaviour of this other person and I am still pissed that people are so unreliable and I sent HER an sms just now to tell her thank you very much but I have made other arrangements. UGH people!!!!

Thomas Heathcliffe

I am so sleepy from the meds and it is a true KZN day today hot as hell! My boss has also "stolen" my undercover parking the prat so my car going to be like an oven later on woe is me!! I shouldn't even be here with these tonsils but I failed to get a doc letter and I also have a lot of things to do before I go on leave. But concentrating is already a problem so early in the day so I doubt I will make it all day, yeah it is an excuse to leave early I've had enough for one year!

J is coming over at five to get the spare keys and remote so she can look after Thomas Heathcliffe while I am away. I feel sooooooo bad leaving him and taking the girls always but what can I do? I had to put him in kennels last year as I didn't know anyone to look out for him but this time he will be at home and J will come over every day so it should be better for him. He didn't fancy the kennels,but he was healthy as an ox when we went to collect him. He is a silent cat doesn't talk much but he didn't shut up that day. This plays so on my mind that I often cut my holidays short by a few days to come home to him. He is always so glad to see me than ignores me for two days my punishment for leaving him. People say cats are not like dogs needing affection attention etc. Well they so ARE they are just way more subtle about it and they want it on their terms. I have a "monster' cat but he is so so sweet. When I lived in the same building as Angel he used to go visiting with me and would visit Angel and sleep under her bed if I was away, before she got her boys that is. He is so large that when I make coffee and he decides he wants milk (about once a month) he stands up and touches my arm while I'm pouring the milk into my coffee. He never has milk on a regular basis as I'm sure you aware they don't need it but when he wants some then he asks. He is also way bigger than the girls and he is a great conversation piece. Loads of people are terrified of him and I (being a nasty cow) enjoy that immensely. He loves T and they play a lot, he isn't too keen on the girls because they used to chase him when we first got Shadow, but now he has decided to "take over" and she is scared of him. He smacks her often and for no reason to keep her on her toes. If she is in the kitchen he lies in the doorway and she can't come out. But they do all sleep together on my bed and sit together in the doorway looking out or on the same couch especially in winter and when T isn't around and they have to share their mom. Can't wait for my holiday but boy I'm going to miss my cat!!!

Weekend Stuff

It is amazing how my home is sparkling now after the spring cleaning. No more hand & finger prints on the doors and walls, he he but the ones on the ceiling are still there have to tackle them tomorrow........T at his best. But I know he wont be back long and it will all be the same again UGH!!!

T is having a great time his "other" granny and his aunt took him out on Saturday for lunch and bought him a remote controlled Ford Mustang, airtime and gave him pocket money.

Yesterday I wrapped up some more presents and i found the most amazing paper with loads of shiny balls on, I had two large presents to wrap and it really suits the boxes. I also found some hand made "straw" angels that I am using instead of bows to decorate the presents with.

I am off to the doctor in ten minutes I have ear ache a soar throat and a sore back wonder bloody full!!! Anyway least I get to go home early and tomorrow is a public holiday so only THREE more days at work for me!! I can't tell you how happy I am!!!!!

Monday is dragging

It's one of those horrible days busy but dragging, it is so hot and humid here today everyone is slow and tired and not in the mood, I have decided that now I must do some extra hard cleaning since T is away and I will have time. Boy I got up all motivated this morning and put the bathroom curtains in the bath to soak and went and bought tile cleaner. All for after work today, o my can't say as I am going to do anything except "vrot" in front of the TV and watch pre- recorded Dr Phil and Oprah and have a few whiskeys........LOL! Never mind weekend is coming up and then it will be easier with no work to interrupt my cleaning schedule :-p. Just thought if I did something small each day after work then I wont have so much to do over the weekend and holidays. I got new kitchen curtains from my uncle yesterday that have to be shortened, and hung up. I washed them already so that part is done. I also made new throws for my couches this weekend, wow I sound like I am really clever right now. Truth is I HATE sewing and the curtains are checks so I can sew along the straight line easy peasy. The material for the throws was cut to size by the kind shopkeeper and I just had to sew four hems along the raw sides. So no rocket science involved. Just feel like sprucing up a bit. When you have an 11 year old boy and animals you cannot live in a palace but you can try now and then for some small improvements. New throws are so comfortable feels like being in heaven they are a cotton type material but thicker than sheeting, it doesn't crease and it is cool and soft, I fell asleep on my couch on Saturday night was divine!! The animals are also loving them and T said he is going to miss his. So good choice and paid less for the material than I would have for ONE throw big enough for my couches. Was a big deal because I wanted to replace them last December already and didn't.

My drive yesterday to Estcourt and back was actually a lot of fun as I decided to enjoy it even if it was a bit too hot on the way back and I was alone. Everything between NN and NKR is so green and it isn't a freeway so you can only go 100, though most people don't and you get to enjoy the mountains and the farms and all the BABY animals! A lot of calves and foals and I even saw goat kids. Lots of birds including the Eastern Red Footed Kestrel that we last saw last summer at the dam. T even spotted a large snake but we didn't identify it bit far away. Then of course my treat is to get on the Freeway and cruise. We have no freeways here obviously and who would have thought you could miss it now and then? My car gets to have a good run and I get to go faster than 100 he he he. So all in all a good weekend T made my sis in law a fairy wind chime on Saturday in his last art class for 2008. The family had gifts for us too which I can't wait to open as they make such nice presents. My Xmas shopping nearly done which is a miracle but put it down to small town living and the slower pace of life. Bro hasn't got a gift yet but I know what he wants so I just have to pick it up. Then A my friend I was at school with, she and significant other are picking me up for supper out this week at a new restaurant that has opened here kewl huh? O and Mac Donald's opened here on Friday! Whoo hoo!!
Then I went to sleep for nine hours last night and as anyone who knows me will tell you I don't sleep well ever so it was amazing and I enjoyed it so much though I had planned to read........