Day three of cutting down to quit...............

I'm smoking HALF of what I used to, 50% less. I am very proud of this and today am feeling better the first two days I had hellish withdrawal headaches and was very sluggish. Today no headaches and more energy and that is only in the cutting down stage, image after the total quit how good I will feel? It is starting to stink big time, I can smell smoke on other people and I hate the smell on my fingers afterwards. My quit buddy wasn't at the office today but there are others that encourage and help and provide snacks (lol) so I had a good day all in all. So now I am almost ready to set my quit date, I haven't thought about that yet which day I am actually going to stop totally. Right now it's baby steps don't want to rush it hey!

Cutting down....................

I have a 'quit" buddy this time and we work together so we are on a serious cutting down to quit drive right now. It involves stretching time between fags and helping each other and not smoking without each other so we both have to agree to smoke which is working because one or the other of us remains strong and says wait another half an hour etc. He is not in the office right now, out at a customer I NEED him to be here I need to smoke my head is aching :-(. We are allowed to smoke at 11 and again at 2, it is three hours between fags at this stage. I know that cutting down to quit works as it is the method I used last time and I do well knowing that sometime in the future I can have a smoke. It teaches you to go longer and longer without, and how to handle the cravings that come and go in between. Plus when you do smoke it tastes and smells so BAD that it starts putting you off. It's a long hard road, why I didn't stick to my last quit of 11 months I don't know because I have been down this road and I am hoping not to travel it again.

On the bright side I made two blankets last time to keep my hands busy and I am busy looking for a nice blanket pattern to crotchet for this quit too :-) Wish me luck I think this is the ONE!

Single Mothers we do exist!!!

Hello I know I haven't blogged much we have been uber busy at work and life has been hectic. I now have a usb modem at home so hopefully I can blog from there and I will blog more.

Yesterday I went to get the registration forms for High School, yip my little T-bone is going to High School next year and he is looking forward to it. Mom feels kind of sad. Anyway I come back to the office and start filling in the forms, get to a certain section and now I am stumped, and a little pissed off as well. It is the same with ANY forms we need to fill in regarding our children. Said question says "status" of family.....then the child lives with .......

Both parents
Stepfather/mother
Father/Stepmother
Widower
Widow
Guardians
Divorced/lives with Father
Divorced/lives with mother
Alienated lives with father
Alienated lives with mother

Only mother passed away
Only father passed away
Both parents passed away

OK HELLO, what do I fill in? I am a single mother there are many of us, this is a fact. If you don't put single parents on forms it doesn't mean there are no single parents. I am not alienated from anyone. I made a conscious decision to raise this child on my own. His father made a decision not to get involved though he pays a smallish amount every month without fail he doesn't really have much to do with T and he only stared paying when T was about 6. T made his own decision to not have a relationship with his father at this time as he has let him down in the past, at 13 I believe he has a right to make that decision and I support it. So therefore I am a single parent I was never married to his father I am not married now. We are a family just T and myself.

Why don't schools and other institutions that require you to fill in forms recognise that single parents exist? That single parents should be on the forms? That a single parent family is totally different from a widowed, divorced, alienated or other type of family? Does this piss any other single parents off? I can't imagine that it is only me?

So now what do I do? Do I add a colum to their stupid form? Will this piss them off? I stopped filling in the form, I usually work around this thing but for some reason this particular one just got to me, there isn't even an "other" ........if there was "other" I could add it there. Is it still after all these years taboo to be a single mother? I know I have come up against some strange remarks in my 13 years of doing this and I know some people still judge single mothers in a bad way. Hey it's one of the hardest jobs on earth being a single parent, I'm proud of what I have been able to achieve in 13 years, I didn't ask for this job but I took it on and I think I am doing OK, so why the frikken hell shouldn't I be recognised by society? Why isn't there a single parent family status on the blooming form??

These boys are winners........

They won a voucher to "snips" which is a bird park and pet shop etc all in one. I went and bought them lots of toys and hooves to chew. The picture was in our local weekly newspaper as pet pic of the week. Gentle giant Brutus watching tiny Spud (who is not so tiny anymore) eating his dinner, hoping he will leave some behind:-)

Hello again.......I'm still here

BUMZY………..hey personalized number plates are a choice and they cost a lot of money but some of them are so “stupid” why on earth would you want your number plate to be “BUMZY”? Just a question I was driving behind bumzy this morning wondering WTF?

I haven’t blogged in ages I don’t really know why I have had a lot on my mind and a lot has happened but I have just been keeping it inside (which is basically a bad idea). I get frustrated with blogging too since I cannot leave comments on blogs because my pc goes crazy it feels like I am out of the loop right now.

The animals are all fine Spud has grown he is taller than my dachshund and almost as long, he has huge feet and knees so I am thinking he will be a medium size rather than small dog as we all thought in the beginning. He is a thug he keeps all animals and humans on their toes and he rules the roost. I guess if you a little pup and dumped in with a big ol Brutus and two other ladies you have to be a thug.

Like MOMCAT I too have revived my love of knitting and crocheting and have done many projects since I started up again in April, I have made a crochet baby blanket, a knitted cabled hoody and mittens for the same baby. I knitted a dogs jersey for a friend who got a new jack Russell puppy. I knitted myself a sleeveless cardigan in lilac which everyone says is lovely, I have made my mom an aran cardigan and am busy knitting my niece one in dirty pink. I also made a new hot water bottle cover. So have been ultra busy. I have a few new patterns that I want to make for myself so I am all set for next winter. My parents have also asked me to knit some children’s jerseys for their church project for next winter. I am also knitting a blanket with squares that have owls cabled into them in the middle. I couldn’t believe it when I found the pattern. So each time I finish a back or front or sleeve I take a jersey break and make a square. The pic is of the baby blanket while I was still working it all together, it is a rather big one and the friend I made it for was thrilled!

I received two black rubbish bags full of wool from a friend’s mother. This friend has just passed away she had brain cancer she was 44. It is so sad she knitted all the time and her mother gave my mother and I the wool in June. She had plenty packed away in her cupboards. So I am often thinking of her when I use the wool from her stock pile and like to think it makes her smile……………

Our new baby.............

This is Spud (named after the Spud books) and he is seven weeks old, he has been with us for two weeks now. He was tied with a chain to the tar road and was sitting in the middle of the road where he nearly got run over. His rescuer was going to take him to the SPCA, but when I saw him I couldn't leave him. He is a cross dachshund according to the vet, but he is bigger than that so I hope he isn't too huge in the end. The day we got him he went for injections and deworming and he weighed 1.2kg's, he was skinny and he has mange, which is clearing up nicely and didn't spread around the family thank goodness. He has disrupted our lives totally he wakes in the night to go out, he eats like crazy he plays really rough and our hands are full of scratches, he is gorgeous. When he wants to sleep he cuddles up to you like a baby (and he is a baby after all) and sighs that puppy sigh and sleeps for ages. Today was his first day outside with the other dogs while we were at work and school, he was was happier staying with them and we were glad to see all was well when we got home. He shouted the loudest of all four when we returned at lunch time after school. So yeah I'm a sucker but man he is so cute................

Leave, epilepsy etc

It's been a while since I posted. A lot of things are happening right now but I have not really been up to writing about them. I was on leave for a week it was amazing to be away from the office and spend time with T. We got on so well and did so much together and around the house and garden. Of course the dogs thought it was wonderful having us at home all day every day :-). On Sunday 4 April our Brutus collapsed he just fell over and was shaking and wet himself. I was terrified I didn't know what was happening and I really thought he was dying. He got up after two minutes and he was fine. I rushed to phone the vet who explained that it is "normal" ( his word) epilepsy and to mark it on the calendar and see when it next occurs as they don't treat it if it's once a month for example. Well it happened three times on Sunday so we took him to the vet on Sunday afternoon. He is on medication and only had one seizure since then which the vet said might happen until the meds stabilize him. We have to take him off the meds after fourteen days and see when he has another seizure. Now that I know what it is and I have researched it and I understand it is ok, but that first time was so dreadful T and I shook like crazy we were so terrified and traumatized! Brutus is fine now he loves having his meds at 6 and 6 disguised in various ways and he is as alert protective and loving as usual!